Whether you’re thinking about your fertility, conception or you’re struggling to conceive. You’re likely to have bouts of anxiety. Whether you’re dealing with infertility, you’re pregnant or you have miscarried. You’re almost certainly dealing with anxiety at the minimum. Whether you’re about to give birth, or if you have a small person. Chances are, anxiety will too be ever-present….
Sadly, it seems an increasingly common part of our society. It is great that we are talking about it more. However, we also need practical tools to deal with anxiety.
Top Tips For Managing Anxiety
ONE: Get mindful of how you speak to yourself. Have you ever really thought about how you speak to yourself on a daily basis? Many of us have a tendency to engage in negative and critical self-talk. Often without even realizing.
You know that voice calling yourself an ‘idiot’ for burning something in the oven. Or that critical voice when we realize we have forgotten to pack a PE kit? First thing is to start to notice it. You’ll probably be surprised how often you do it. It is a quick way to chronic anxiety.
TWO: challenge yourself to have a compassionate response. You would never tolerate another person standing next to you saying the things you often say to yourself. We tend to be very hard on ourselves. Speaking to yourself in a kind and loving way can be transformative.
THREE: Give yourself permission to try and behave differently. To see what happens if you start speaking in a way that is kinder to yourself.
FOUR: start off small. We have often learned over a long period of time to speak this way to ourselves. You cannot expect it to undo in a day. Start off by noticing it. Then challenge yourself every day to be conscious of it. Often people try and make huge sweeping changes. It’s best to start small.
FIVE: Practise: the more you shift your behavior, the easier it will get. Soon it will go from being a conscious action to an unconscious part of everyday life. This can be transformative for anxiety.
SIX: stop focusing on what you don’t want and what you fear. Shift to what you do want. Many of us get very focused on the things we fear the most. As soon as we actively focus our attention on what we actually want and become kind to ourselves that is when miracles can happen.
SEVEN: Trust and acceptance. Often we are scrambling to try and control everything and change our situation. Sometimes switching our mindset and trusting that we are where we are meant to be in this given moment can be very powerful. Putting your faith in something bigger than yourself can take a huge amount of pressure off. At that point, you realize that it is not all on you to make everything happen. A great way to loosen anxiety’s grip.
EIGHT: Meditation. This has shown massive results in reducing anxiety. The key is to start small. Experiment to find what works for you. Give yourself permission to explore and be creative. Be compassionate. Understand that you may find it tough at first. Don’t set out big rules and expectations. It shouldn’t be a chore. Find a way you enjoy it. Then it’s just practice. The more you do the easier it will get.
for the ‘how to’ realistic way to get into meditation for conception, pregnancy, birth and beyond – click here
NINE: listen to your instincts. Listening and trusting that inner voice can be very powerful. Building trust and confidence in it can be challenging. Don’t do things that are in conflict with your intuitive compassionate self. When you’re in conflict and not listening to yourself you will quickly find anxiety rising.
TEN: Give yourself permission to prioritize yourself. Do things that make you happy and make you feel better. Whether it is being out in nature, taking time to meditate or even seeing a good friend. Realizing that you are valuable and are worthy of care is the key. Often we put our needs last. Ultimately we are in a better position to care for those that we love, as soon as we love and look after ourselves. If that means asking for help and support that’s ok.